Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Final Crisis: Secret Files


Is this mega-cross-over-super-event-crisis
still going on? What is this particular tie-in, with its phenomenal Frank Quitely-drawn cover? Possibly the issue I was excited about way back when, back in September? Wait a dang minuter, this Final Crisis: Secret Files 1 doesn't have the same announced writers or pencillers? What's going on around here? What's in this comic?

Oh, it's an origin issue written by the great Len Wein and pencilled by Tony Shasteen... about Libra. Hokay, I'm still interested. Let me crack this sucker open and read it. Uh-huh, abusive father. Idolizing Ted Knight. Likes astronomy. Let me turn the page. What-the? He's invented an "energy transmortifier"? What the f*$& is that and where did it come from? This is a jarring change in direction....

Followed by a recap of the two issues that introduced Libra for the first time, and an explanation on how he came to find himself at the heel of Darkseid, which is a tenuous connection and a straining explanation at best.

This was a bland, boring, uninteresting origin. Abusive father? Really? That's your motive for trying to take half of the universe's energy? Confusing...

At least Shasteen's pencils are tight and fluid. That's the good news. You know who has really fluid panels? Frank Quitely! Where were his pencils in here? There's some Grant Morrison sketches at the back, but that's about it.

Let's return to the solicitation for a second.
Finally, the secrets of this year’s most talked about event can be revealed! Witness how Darkseid's death shattered the Multiverse, creating continuity ripples throughout the DC Universe! Submit to Darkseid and read the full Anti-Life Equation! This is a book you cannot resist to buy!
Oh.... That's not what this issue is about at all. You've got to be kidding me here, DC. Can you please make Final Crisis more of a disappointment, please? Already it's woefully behind schedule, it's plagued with rumours of re-writes, three different pencillers have been called in to bail out Jones, and the final issue has a completely different artist! This is exactly how you don't publish big-money comic books. Thanks for the lesson, DC.

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