Thursday, January 29, 2009

Unicron Versus The Death Star

What's a more important debate in our times than figuring out which planet-destroying satellite is cooler?

Unicron is able to transform into a another form. Point for Unicron. However, his method of destruction is mastication, which is slow and tedious. Point for Death Star.

The Death Star isn't sentient. Point for Unicron. Also, Orson Welles didn't voice the Death Star. Another point for Unicron.

The Death Star's method of destruction is a simple laser beam. So point for Death Star.

Both of them are destroyed eventually by lame methods. For The Death Star, single photon torpedo takes it out. For Unicron, the Autobot Matrix of Leadership is opened within his chest, thus blowing him apart. So no points for either.

Both of their demises, however, are f*%&ing awesome explosions, so points for both. But, Unicron's head remains a smoking empty shell, floating as Cybertron's new moon, which is awesome and haunting. Another point for Unicron.

The total? 5 points for Unicron and 3 for The Death Star. Our clear winner?

Congrats! Now please go destroy Arrakis and get rid of all those annoying Bene Gesserits.

Next week? Conan versus He-Man! Stay tuned!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Unicron was an easy choice! :) The best Unicron quote was from Transformers #75 after he was being attacked by the "evil" Matrix.

* MATRIX: We are no longer the being you once knew, Unicron. What you shared with us before is gone. We are free to do as we wish without your knowing!

* UNICRON: Yess. I see that now. You are a fool. What I feared, what could perhaps destroy me, is what you have smothered. What remains is evil, and in that realm--

* UNICRON: I have no equal!